Why Advice Matters

The book of Proverbs reminds us: “Plans fail for lack of counsel; but with many advisers they succeed.” (Proverbs 15:22).

Advice is more than just an opinion — it’s perspective. When we seek wisdom from others, we step outside our own blind spots and see possibilities we might have missed. In The 25 Biblical Laws of Success, Douglas and Teixeira (2017) describe the Law of Advice: before making important decisions, consult several advisers with different backgrounds and outlooks. The goal isn’t to surrender your voice but to enrich it through the wisdom of others.

The Risk of Relying on Only One Voice

When you rely on a single mentor, parent, partner, or even a spiritual leader for every decision, you risk:

• Seeing life from only one angle.
• Turning that person into an authority who feels “divine” in your life (Douglas & Teixeira, 2017).
• Missing out on the richness that comes from hearing multiple perspectives.

As the authors note, even the wisest adviser doesn’t see the whole picture. Like the Japanese proverb says: “No matter how small a stone is, nobody can see all of its sides at the same time.” (Douglas & Teixeira, 2017, p. 135).

How to Seek Advice Wisely

Not every adviser is equal. When listening to someone:

• Evaluate their past experience. Research shows that adviser expertise and relevance of experience strongly shape whether advice is accepted (Bonaccio & Dalal, 2006).
• Check for conflict of interest. Are they acting in good faith or out of personal interest?
• Balance heart and reason. A beloved adviser may care for you deeply, but care alone doesn’t guarantee clarity (Douglas & Teixeira, 2017).

This is why it’s important to listen to more than one voice, compare perspectives, and then make your own decision with clarity.

Feedback: The Hidden Key to Growth

Advice isn’t just about big life decisions — it’s also about feedback.

• Feedback is how we grow. Constructive feedback supports learning, performance, and motivation (Hattie & Timperley, 2007).
• Constructive feedback matters. It’s not just criticism, but guidance that helps us adjust and improve.
• Great leaders embrace feedback. As Douglas and Teixeira (2017) highlight, no one can succeed long-term without the ability to give and receive feedback. Research echoes this: feedback literacy is directly tied to growth and resilience (Carless & Boud, 2018).

How to Give Feedback Well

Healthy feedback has a formula (Douglas & Teixeira, 2017):

• Focus on behavior, not character.
• Be specific, not vague.
• Speak for your own perspective — not on behalf of others.
• Balance positives with growth points.
• End with clarity: What exactly can be done differently?

Done well, feedback doesn’t shame — it strengthens.

Receiving Feedback with Strength

Receiving feedback well takes courage:

• When you receive positive feedback, be grateful but stay humble (Douglas & Teixeira, 2017).
• When you receive negative feedback, check if it’s valid before rejecting it. Even enemies can point out truths we need to hear.
• Remember: feedback is not an attack, it’s a tool for personal growth (Ashford & Cummings, 1983).

Reflection

Advice and feedback both require humility. They mean admitting: “I don’t see everything. I can learn.” But they also require wisdom — knowing which voices to weigh heavily, and which to let pass.

The wisest path isn’t following one person blindly, but listening broadly, reflecting deeply, and then choosing courageously.

Takeaway for Clients:
At Crescent Counseling & Coaching, I remind clients that growth doesn’t happen in isolation. Advice, feedback, and reflection are part of every breakthrough. The goal isn’t to let others live your life, but to let their wisdom sharpen your perspective — so you can move forward with confidence.

Reflection prompt: Who are the voices I seek advice from — and do they reflect the diversity and wisdom I need?

_______

References

• Ashford, S. J., & Cummings, L. L. (1983). Feedback as an individual resource: Personal strategies of creating information. Organizational Behavior and Human Performance, 32(3), 370–398.
• Bonaccio, S., & Dalal, R. S. (2006). Advice taking and decision-making: An integrative literature review, and implications for the organizational sciences. Organizational Behavior and Human Decision Processes, 101(2), 127–151.
• Carless, D., & Boud, D. (2018). The development of student feedback literacy: Enabling uptake of feedback. Assessment & Evaluation in Higher Education, 43(8), 1315–1325.
• Douglas, W., & Teixeira, R. (2017). The 25 biblical laws of success. Baker Books.
• Hattie, J., & Timperley, H. (2007). The power of feedback. Review of Educational Research, 77(1), 81–112.